Hey ,
The last time I wrote, I was talking about high-fiber foods and how the right fuel can help your body feel good from the inside out. After I hit "send," I thought, "Did I just write an email about fiber? Is this where we are now?"
The truth is, lately, things have been hitting a little differently for me. I've been thinking about the quiet, sometimes invisible, losses that come with getting older.
Just the other day, a group of young guys catcalled out the window at me, "Hey Mahmieee!" As their car drove closer and they realized I could actually be their mom, they apologized: "Sorry Ma'am!"
I wanted neither the attention nor the take-back of the attention. But in a world that values the youth of women as our highest commodity, that moment can sting. It's an abrupt reminder of a truth we already know: aging women are often judged on a metric that no longer exists - youth.
And yet, aging women are far from invisible. We are the mothers, partners, leaders, property owners, ceos, teachers, and sense-makers in our communities. When we remember the power of our voices, we affirm our visibility in a different, more profound way.
But there's still a part of the aging process that's tough to reconcile: the quiet realization that certain "firsts" are now behind us. While I'm a staunch believer that it's never too late for a fresh start, we no longer have the benefit of a certain innocence. We've lived a good deal of life, and the optimism of our youth is now coupled with a deeper, more complete picture of the world.
This is the "burden and benefit of knowledge." On one hand, you're wiser and care less about what people think. On the other, you're acutely aware of people's biases and judgments. It’s a duality of both knowing the path ahead isn't easy and being equipped with the strength to navigate it.
Because this loss is quiet, it often goes unacknowledged. We're not supposed to mourn the past, especially when we have so much to be grateful for - ESPECIALLY when we're not sure what might be coming next. But the truth is, it's okay to feel sad or frustrated about these changes. Grief happens when change happens and it doesn't always have to be caused by a catastrophic event. Small "g" grief is still grief.
The narrative that exists for us right now leaves little room for acknowledging it. When you notice signs of aging, you're expected to fight them, numb them, or spend your way out of them.
But the solution to a problem that was manufactured by the people selling us the solution will never be found in a purchase. Instead, it lies in a shift in perspective.
I believe we can use our brains and our bodies to support the process of moving on in our lives when the world is telling us to turn back the clock. My 25 years in the wellness field have shown me that the clients who focus on the quality of their aging process tend to seek out more quality experiences with every milestone. Those who focus on aesthetic solutions tend to seek out more aesthetic solutions with every purchase.
I'm excited to have some deep conversations in the coming weeks and months ahead and I realized that I may lose some of you in the process. I trust that those of you who stay are ready to explore more.
If this is you, hit reply and tell me about one unexpected transition that's come with the aging process for you? I'm curios to hear how it's going for you and gathering stories that will help shape future writings and blog posts.
Until then...
Living Well With You, Not At You,
Coach JZ (Jenna)
Save The Dates:
Group Pilates & Fitness Classes at It's Lit Studio:
September Schedule:
Mondays - 6pm: Sweat and Shine
7:30pm: Weekly Reset Pilates - all levels (this is a postural reset class with a special meditation at the end)
Wednesdays - 6pm: Step and Stretch (step aerobics)
Thursdays - 6pm: Inner Circle Pilates ( a magic-circle-based, inclusive class with lots of variations)
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