Over the past four weeks I've struggled with supporting Cetelia as she has suffered physically and emotionally due to her bike accident.
I am learning some things that may be helpful to you:
- Honor your covenant. You made a covenant with God and your mate when you said, "I do." This covenant included celebrating the terrific times, and being present in the tough times. Don't allow the present difficulty cause you backslide on your vow to be a spouse.
- You can't rush the process. Your mate will be this current state until he/she isn't. Although it doesn't change the timeframe, there's a bit of peace in accepting things as they are until they change for the better.
- It's okay to feel helpless. You're not God. You're not almighty. You can't fix everything. Sometimes the most you can do is to accept your humanity, and wait for God to act. Strangely, there's power in feeling helpless.
- God hasn't changed. A friend of mine once told me not to let my situation rewrite my theology. Selah. If you believe in God's goodness when things are going well, believe in his goodness when they're going badly.
- Your spouse needs you. This may come as no surprise to you. But, if your spouse is like mine (quiet, independent, strong, proud), you may not have as much as an opportunity to be helpful. Find a way, and do it. Even if your spouse doesn't let you know you're needed, believe me when I say you are. If you weren't there assisting, your spouse would feel your absence.
- It's going to be okay. In the midst of suffering, it's easy to feel like there's no hope for relief. And, things may never get back to the way they were prior to whatever event has you in your current situation. Despite that, you have to absolutely believe that things are going to be okay. You have to believe that God is working things out according to the counsel of his will. You have to believe that he is faithful, and his love endures forever. While the situation may have changed things permanently, God reigns. Because of that, it's going to be okay.
Are you caring for a spouse who is suffering physically, mentally, or emotionally?
I'd love to hear from you so I can pray for you.
Bless -
Kevin
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