Recently I've been coaching a couple about speaking each other's love language. The wife's primary language is words of affirmation, and her husband's is physical touch.
Neither of them naturally thinks about performing acts that correspond with their mate's language. It's not that they don't want to think about it. They just don't think about it because it's not natural.
It's kinda how I don't go around throughout the day thinking about speaking Polish. It's not that I'm against the language. I just simply don't think about it because it's not my natural language.
What if, however, I had a Polish colleague, and I knew that connecting with him would be easier if I learned a few words in his language? Although speaking his language still wouldn't be my first choice or what came naturally, I would do it for the purpose of connection. I would do it to aid the relationship and make him feel appreciated.
If you and your mate speak different love languages, don't fret. If speaking your mate's love language doesn't come naturally to you, don't fret. At the same time, don't use either of these facts as an excuse not to speak your mate's love language.
Discover your mate's love language. Practice speaking it. Put forth the effort. Work on it. Make yourself do it. Overcome your reluctance. Think about your mate. Get over yourself.
Love your mate through his /her language, and make your marriage work.
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