Hi ,

This month is a hard month for me, and likely for many other people as well. I lost my husband on April 14^th, and April 14^th is also my dad’s birthday, who just passed away in December. The emotions that come with that hit hard at times, making it difficult to focus on my book work or any work really. But I know we can’t focus on the sadness because that takes a person down a rabbit hole that is hard to get out of. So today, I want to share with you some memories.

My husband never talked much in his sleep, but he did one night while I was awake. He said, “I tat I saw a puddy tat,” then chuckled and went silent again. I couldn’t help but laugh and recant the story when he woke up that morning. These are the types of memories that we need to remember. Not the hard times. Not the sad times, but the times that made us smile and laugh.

My fondest memory of my dad was when I would wake up at night, I would find him sitting in his recliner, either reading his bible or reading a western, or if I knocked on their bedroom door at night and opened their door, they’d be kneeling at the side of their bed praying as they got ready for bed. My dad struggled a lot in his later years and the loss was very traumatic, but I know he is at peace now and that settles my heart a little. I had a dream with him in it the other day. I hope those dreams never stop because at least there I can talk to him and see his wonderful smile and caring heart again.

You’ll notice a theme in some of my books, which shares the loss of an important person in my character’s life, whether that be a kid, a spouse, and the journey through the loss to finding love again, and allowing yourself to open your heart to another. It’s not easy letting new people in when loss is an inevitable part of life. It’s hard to lose a loved one, but as hard as it is, it doesn’t have to be the end of our journey to love. We have more strength than one thinks when it comes to letting people into our lives.

I have been lucky to find love again and a deeper love this time than anything I’ve ever known. With losing my dad and watching my mom navigate through living without my dad, and myself having lived through the death of my husband, it’s definitely hard to not bring that pain into my relationship because I fear that I will lose him or that he will lose me. The fears are very real, but I use that fear to live each day to the fullest and to never let it push me away from bettering my life.

Let me know your tales of woo and what you are doing to keep on living and growing as a person.

xo,

Patricia Elliott

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