Dear
In our last email, we spoke about coping with trauma. I had asked what were some of the habits that you had developed to help you deal with it. So here goes.
Some protection mechanism as are pumping iron, exercising to get stronger, and yet in our minds we are never strong enough… or taking drugs - marijuana, alcohol to numb senses or to get a high/feel good, but we feel let down and fragile when the sensation wears off.
Or like me, you get involved in dangerous activities to develop a false sense of control over our circumstances eg motorcycle or drag racing. For me it was parachuting, bungee jumping and working in very dangerous inner city communities.
I was not aware of my motivation at the time. I would tell you that it was fun and thrilling or that it was altruistic. But on reflection, it was about being able to (feel in) control (of) the danger; being able to know the risks after all, what did it matter if I died? I was already feeling dead inside.
This constant fighting danger seems exciting or foolhardy to those looking on. But for those of us going through it, if we are to be honest, it is exhausting. We become mentally fatigued, we sometimes succumb to depression and we are physically tired.
Do you know what we are hiding?
Shame.
Instead of struggling, fighting, hiding, can we learn to accept that something terrible happened to us?
Stop.
Breathe.
It Is Alright.
It was not your fault.
Breathe.
Take time to feel.
The pain, the hurt, the shame.
Identify the feelings.
Name them.
This is the first step in the process of recovery.
Holding you safe…..
I am Dr. Sandra Hamilton
Aka Dr. H: The Confidence Builder
P.S.
Are you ready to heal? Book in a chance to chat. It’s absolutely free. Nothing will be sold.
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