This is a plug for the
European Peace Conference
where Juliet Grayson is speaking on Thursday.
More info here https://teamcoachzuidas.com/conference/
There is an aricle below - SCROLL DOWN TO THE BLUE -
Why We Must Offer Therapy to P*dophiles—Before a Crime is Committed
Juliet's talk on Thursday is:
Restoring Humanity: A Compassionate Approach to S*xual Violence—Working with Both Perpetrators and Survivors
With Juliet Grayson
ARTICLE: Why We Must Offer Therapy to P*dophiles—Before a Crime is Committed
Juliet Grayson | Psychos*xual Therapist & PBSP Trainer
Speaker at the European Peace Conference on
Perpetrator–Victim Dynamics, Amsterdam 2025
In the UK, s*xual offences against children are treated as worse than murder. The shame is so intense, the silence so deafening, that people who are s*xually attracted to children often feel unable to ask for help.
And that’s a problem. Because prevention starts with conversation.
No one chooses to be a p*dophile. But everyone can choose whether or not to act on their s*xual urges. That choice becomes easier when therapy is available, early, and without judgement.
From Shame to Safety
I’m a survivor of childhood s*xual abuse. And I’ve spent over several decades working with people who are at risk of committing abuse themselves. Some of my (perpetrator) clients will get off a bus if a child gets on. They avoid schools. They are deeply committed to staying safe—and keeping children safe.
They deserve support, not scorn.
In 2012 I co-founded StopSO: The Specialist Treatment Organisation for
Perpetrators and Survivors of S*xual Offences , a UK-wide charity offering therapy to people at risk of committing s*xual offences. We trained therapists across the country so that anyone—victim or perpetrator—could access help quickly and locally. By the time I left in 2019, we were providing therapy to over 1,500 people a year, many of them p*dophiles. In just seven years, we supported over 4,000 potential perpetrators who were at risk of offending or had already done so.
Attraction Isn’t a Crime—Behaviour Is
Research shows that up to 20% of men show a stronger physical response to child s*xual images than to adult ones. Most never act on this. But some, especially those desensitised by years of adult pornography, may begin to cross a dangerous line.
If we shame every person who feels an unwanted attraction, we push them underground. But when we offer understanding and clear boundaries, we create safety—for everyone.
As I often say: You’re not responsible for your attractions. But you are responsible for your actions.
Female Offenders Exist Too
Around 10% of s*xual abuse is committed by women—though it’s likely underreported. I’ve worked with men who were s*xually touched by their mothers as children, and never even realised it was abuse.
We need to be willing to see the whole story.
A Four-Point Plan to Prevent Abuse
The Finkelhor model gives us four intervention points:
- Reduce motivation – therapy helps.
- Strengthen internal inhibitors – challenge distorted thinking.
- Add external barriers – design safer environments.
- Empower victims – teach children it’s OK to say no.
Prevention is possible. But only if we’re brave enough to stop looking away.
A Final Thought
James Cantor’s research suggests s*xual preference is shaped in the womb. If that’s true, then p*dophiles are born, not made. It’s not their fault. But it is their responsibility.
And when someone with an attraction to children chooses not to act on it—and seeks help instead—that is a gift to society.
Therapy works. It can save lives. And it costs far less than imprisonment.
Let’s offer therapy to those who want it. Let’s stop shaming people into silence. And let’s remember: our actions define us, not our attractions.
Let's work together to keep children safe.
This is worth listening to - From LBC radio: https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/james-obrien/the-brave-call-to-james-attracted-to-young-girls/
Juliet Grayson
Author of Landscapes of the Heart (2016), founder of StopSO, UKCP-registered psychos*xual therapist, Pesso Boyden Trainer, and author.
Publications:
• Grayson, J. (2016). Landscapes of the heart: The working world of a
s*x and relationship therapist. https://landscapesoftheheart.co.uk/
• Grayson, J. (2018). Back to the root: Healing potential offenders’
childhood trauma with Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor. In
S*xual diversity and s*xual offending (pp. 251–271). Routledge.
In the media
• Grayson, J. (2016). He is a p*dophile, but that does not make him a
child molester. HUFFPOST.
• Grayson, J. (2016). Preventing Child Abuse: How to work with
p*dophiles to stop the first crime from happening. HUFFPOST.
More resources
https://sexuallyinappropriatebehaviour.org/
https://stopso.org.uk/
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